In an effort to be more transparent with readers (and probably respond to complaints that some bloggers appear perfect), I’ve seen many bloggers posting about how they aren’t perfect. It appears to be the the new cool thing. Or maybe it’s just something I’ve noticed lately.
I, like everyone else, love to see that the person whom I’ve been envious of for the past x amount of time makes mistakes and has issues in his/her life. But how much is too much? Need we even disclose the fact that we are all human and don’t have perfect lives?
I’ve always felt like I share good and bad when blogging, but I certainly don’t share every hairy detail.
I will tell you that I’m going through depressing times (did you see any of my posts over the summer of 2013 when I didn’t have a job? or when I hurt my back a couple of years ago? or the ones in November talking about trying to find a therapist? or one of the many times I’ve brought up my anxiety?), but I don’t share every single bad thought going through my head. It would freak you out.
Plus sometimes it’s better to just keep things to yourself.
I will tell you I am so tired I am about to fall asleep on the keyboard, but might leave out a bad fight that results from my tired/crabby self.
I might say I’m experiencing issues at work, but I won’t bad mouth a coworker or boss here on the blog. You really never know who is reading and whose feelings you might hurt.
I share the good and the bad…but need I share every ugly detail with you all? Or even every good thing that ever happens to me?
The answer is no. Bloggers do need to find their own balance of serious vs funny vs sad vs happy vs educational posts, but we don’t need to share every detail of our lives. I have read a blog where the blogger literally treats it as a diary for every one of her deeply depressed thoughts and it is just brutal to read. On the other hand, overly positive (and bland) posts certainly don’t keep me coming back.
Basically, I want to tell bloggers, it is okay to keep some things private. Don’t feel pressure to share anything and everything.
Also, instead of feeling the need to write a single post saying, “I’m not perfect” maybe show a little bit of your imperfections in each post or on social media.
Of course there will still be people who will say you complain too much and those who will say you act too perfect in your blogging. There will also be those who unfollow you on social media (ugh finding out stats on IG can be upsetting). At the end of the day…you can’t please em all!
Food for thought.
I write this in procrastination of blogging about my weekend…I wanted to tell you all every. single. thing. that I did this weekend. The good, the bad and the ugly. Now I think I might just turn it into a food prep post.
I also say this knowing that I had planned on a whole “imperfect foodie blogger” post…which I’m still planning to do because some of the pictures and stories are funny.
PS: this weekend got away from me (don’t they always) and I have yet to select a winner from the Justin’s giveaway. I don’t have the energy (or time) today to make sure the entry winner actually followed the rules. I haven’t worked out in a full week and I want to do that and get to bed at a decent time. Hope that’s okay with everyone because that’s what’s happening! 😉
Tell me….
Your thoughts on the subject of over/under sharing on blogs!
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I completely agree about being honest in your blog. Too often bloggers are showing perfect pictures of themselves smiling perfectly with their perfect food and day. On the flip side, I don’t enjoy reading a blog that makes me feel drained afterward. Being transparent is important in my book.I write my posts as though we are talking; I will tell you the good, some bad but maybe not the ugly.
Yes! It is a balance for sure! I think every blogger needs to find what works for him/her!
This is great- I think bloggers don’t always share every detail of their personal lives- and really, they don’t have to! It’s your life, YOU decide what you want to share!
Exactly! I was almost getting down on myself for not wanting to share EVERYTHING and then I was like wait…
I agree on the one hand bloggers seem so perfect like you all have everything figured out, but when reality strikes everyone is still human and mistakes/life happens. I love when bloggers let you into their personal world because you begin to feel a part of their life, but at the same time I wouldn’t want to read some depressing story about someone who is sobbing and feeling sorry for themselves, because we all go through challenges and we all read blogs to get inspired and to face those challenges with a new perspective and an open mind.
http://teatimewithb.blogspot.com/
It is definitely a challenge to strike that balance between positive and honest!
Agree! I just started blogging last year and one thing that annoys me is when I read someone’s blog who’s trying to be all too perfect. It drives me crazy! I like it when people talk about real life and real life experiences. It’s doesn’t mean it has to be all negative, but I feel readers can relate more when you are on their level.
Exactly! I really hope I do that here!!
I have always been a fan of yours and always will be! =) I adore your blog and think you do a great job with the balance. I agree, I’ve seen a lot of the “I’m not perfect” blogs. Who cares? I’m not reading because I think the person is perfect or not perfect. I read for the content and if it’s fun, helpful, and engaging.
First of all, thank you for the huge compliment!! That seriously made my day!
Secondly, thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one seeing the trend of “I’m not perfect” posts!
I tend to “bare all” for the most part; at the same time, I haven’t had anything come up in my life that I’ve thought “Ooo, maybe I shouldn’t put that on the blog yet.”.
I will say, I did have that thought a little bit coming off of the food challenge I just did. I was thinking that I wish I would have take a “before” to compare. But then it occurred to me … it didn’t matter. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable putting those pics on my blog anyway – no offense to anyone who does – but not for me!.
Exactly. I think we all have our own personal limits. It’s good to share, but not to the point of making yourself uncomfortable!!
Despite how much I blog for myself (I know EVERYONE says that, but for me, it’s so true), I do have to think about my audience. Anyone could find my blog and do I really want my brothers to read about birth control or diva cups or my boss to read about my true feelings at work? No way.
So I am always thinking in the back of mind: who is reading this? who could read this? Top that with trying not to offend anyone and you have a nice balance of happy go lucky life with some “woe is me” post sprinkled in sporadically. Sometimes I’ll write out a soul baring post and not publish and find that writing it was all I needed 🙂 (or I email that post to a friend – works as well!)
haha everyone DOES say that!! I think you have to blog for yourself at least a little. 😉 But I get what you mean!
Yes, anyone could read it! And more people read our blogs than we even know!! I think you have a good balance and I hope I do too! 🙂
PS Send me any unpublished posts you want! <3
Love this post. I used to self censor when I had some readers, but then I decided not to care and blog like it’s my journal again. I’ve noticed a huge change in readership, but readership is not my goal at this point.
It’s funny because I think I censor more now for the people that I know who read my blog…in the earlier years I felt (and was) more anonymous so it didn’t matter as much. Then there was the whole blend workout post that affected my censoring as well. 🙂
I don’t mind over sharing when it only involves me, but I don’t over share anything that involves my husband. He is very private. So I’ll say anything crazy about myself but when it comes to others, I ask permission or err on the side of caution. Not everyone wants their business out there!
That’s a very good point. Dave doesn’t like a whole lot shared about him..unless it’s good things and then he’s all like “why didn’t you talk about that??” haha
I think bloggers should share whatever it is that they’re comfortable with sharing… and I think it’s important for readers to remember that blogs aren’t a perfect representation of life. I don’t share a lot of personal details regarding friends, family, and relationship on my blog because that’s just not what it’s about. I prefer talking food, travels, recovery, and anything else that randomly pops into my head — that’s what I enjoy, and at the end of the day, that’s what blogging is about, no? 🙂
Exactly! It doesn’t have to be sharing every single detail of our lives!
Personally, I think a blogger should share whatever she wants. It’s their blog, so it’s their choice. Some readers might find only a happy blog not very genuine, some may love it. Some readers might find a less positive blog to be reassuring or a Debbie downer.
I do think it’s alright for bloggers to caution readers they aren’t seeing a full picture, but I don’t think it’s up to us or even readers to determine what’s appropriate blog material. That’s for the blogger themselves, and if they feel comfortable and want to write diary like posts, more power to them.
I totally agree, Meghan! My point was (and I hope I got it across) that we shouldn’t feel pressured to share more (or less) because of what other bloggers are doing and that it is OK to keep things private. Like you said, your blog, your rules. I also thought it was funny to see SO MANY “I’m not perfect” posts, but I suppose it’s a good reminder to some readers.
It’s so true you’re not going to make everyone happy either way!
Thank you for your well-written comment!! <3