Hi all! I wanted to check in basically to let you know I’m not going to be around for another week or so. I don’t want anyone to think I died or spiraled into a depression hole (although these two things are very possible given my personality and the fact that I’m currently living in a frozen tundra land).
I also wanted to vent a little bit.
When a food blogger cannot eat…it sucks.
You see the past few days I have kind of fallen into some sort of hole..but maybe more of an anxiety hole.
We’ve been traveling a lot the past couple of weeks (like how I said we got back to MN only to leave three days later to head to Omaha, then to “the farm” then back to MN again) and I’ve been a little out of my comfort zone in many areas.
Dave’s family gathering at the farm in Nebraska was unusually overwhelming for me. Like I walked in to the relatively small home of his grandparents and immediately felt like I was going to faint with the amount of people packed into one small space. And not just any people, all of Dave’s (and basically my) beloved family members all saying hello and wishing me Marry Christmas. Dave and I have been dating 6 years, so this large family gathering isn’t new to me.
Feeling Faint
From that moment on, I felt hot, and like I was going to faint or puke at any moment. I kept telling Dave “I’m going to die” and had to keep stepping outside into the freezing cold for some air.
It didn’t really help that when we finally left several hours later, there was no safe haven as we were greeted by hundreds of flies in Dave’s family farm house. Since the remodeling of the house, there has been a bug problem and I don’t know about you…swarms of flies beating against light fixtures and windows has a way of getting to you…as if nails were being scratched on a chalkboard forever and ever. It even resulted in terrifying dreams and the stress of it all made every inch of my body sore and tired.
It also seemed to result in such stress that I became grossed out by food.
And if this is your first time visiting this blog… I LOVE food.
This was breakfast mere days before…
It was like pure torture as my appetite slowly started to wane to the point that food literally made me want to gag and every time I did eat I was struck with intense shooting pains in my stomach and annoying heart burn. The weirdest thing was on Monday when we stopped at Panera on our way home to get some dinner, I felt nauseous at the sweet smell of baked goods. Seriously..what the heck??
So..what now?
For now I’m chalking it up to: stress can do weird weird things to the body.
Of course I could have just caught some sort of stomach bug that resulted in the queasy feelings, but I really think it had to do with the intense (to me) situations I was put in. The stomach situation could also have been exacerbated by the large amounts of ibuprophen I took on Wednesday because of what I assume was another round of lovely cysts rupturing in my ovary.
I would like to point out that I’m not blaming anyone at all. I adore Dave’s family (some of them even read my blog..hi guys!!) and I know a packed house and swarms of flies shouldn’t get to me so deeply…but it did. And this is my blog so I wanted to talk about it. There were so many good things about the trip to the farm, but it was challenging to embrace them with so many physical/emotional issues right below the surface.
how sweet is Grandma T?
I would also like to say I’ve ruled out pregnancy (I know someone would probably have suggested this) since last week I experienced my time of the month.
I also want to know…has anyone else has experienced something like this? It’s really weirding me out! Especially as a food blogger..it’s really no bueno when foods are grossing you out and/or making you queasy!
I’ve been taking it very easy the past couple of days, literally just lounging on my couch for a day and a half (watching 30 Rock and playing Sims and occasionally getting up to attempt unpacking or laundry). I am now able to get some foods down, but mostly bland things like crackers, cheese and soup. I’ve also taken to drinking some Core Power smoothies in an attempt to bump up my calories for the day so I’m able to function.
I’ve also been trying to stay away from blog things in order to help with the stress (thinking this is stress-related) and just because food does not sound appealing at this point in time. Thus the decision not to post for the next week. I do have some blog things I want to share with you before Christmas (eek! it’s getting so close!), but man I need to fix my weird stomach issues first!
I’m a little nervous though since I need to get ready now to head to Dave’s work Christmas party..and I have two friend parties this weekend…wish me luck and send lots of anti-anxiety prayers and thoughts!! Thanks for listening, friends! <3
Tell me….
Help me out here..have you ever experienced something like this? How did you fix it?
Linking up to:
(All of the lovely link-ups I participate in here.)
It’s really amazing (not in a good way) how much stress/anxiety can affect your whole body. I’ve definitely had overwhelming days and anxious days, but I’m usually able to pull myself out of a funk by talking to my friends who understand my anxiety. Everyone is different, though! I hope you start feeling better soon!
Thanks, girl. Glad I’m not alone!
About two years ago, I went through a several month period of intense nausea and upset stomach that happened all.the.time. It made me never want to go out to bars or crowded places anymore and ultimately culminated in a stomach bug right after Thanksgiving that led to getting both upper and lower GI tests (ick). But I lost a lot of weight during this time and
Pretty much all of the results were inconclusive, which told me what I already knew: everything was totally mental. It was ALL about anxiety and general unhappiness. Not saying that is definitely the case for you, but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone!! If you have any interest in reading about what I went through, I wrote about it here –> http://www.runnowwinelaterblog.com/2012/12/19/a-health-update/
Hope you start to feel better in time for the holidays! xo
oops part got cut off haha commenter ADHD. I meant to say “I lost a lot of weight during this time and ended up in a really bad place physically/emotionally”
Thanks, Katie. It definitely seems like a stress thing. I will try to check out that post!
Stress eating greatly impacts my digestion as well. Thus why my resolution is to eat mindfully and slowly in a happy state of mind. There is a strong mind-gut connection, did you know? Yyour mood comes from.your gut!
This happens to me a LOT! When things get hectic/stressful (i.e. grad school last year and some weeks this year where I find myself struggling to leave my work at work because I’m so behind) my appetite will do one of two things.
1) Go totally haywire in terms of cravings, usually for a lot of salty junk/snack foods which is weird for me.
2) Vanish completely, which as you said, is rough when you are already stressed because you have a lot to accomplish and now you have no energy (and in my case usually a migraine) from not eating.
Short answer no, you are not alone. Long answer if you have ruled out any physical health problems you owe it to yourself to get to the bottom of the mental game, because you can get stuck for a while. Finding a trusted person or a person who is a stranger to the situation to talk/vent to can really help as can making yourself a priority (I make myself take a bath, or a nap, or go to yoga).
Hopefully this round will pass in a few days, but when you are feeling better help yourself by putting coping strategies in place for the next time. And if you ever need a verbal sparring partner you know where to find me 🙂
Thanks, lady! Good to know I’m not alone! Trying to take it easy but life is still happening!
Girl, I can relate.
As a fellow food blogger, it seems weird when food is the last thing I want to think about putting into my body. I have a disease that can make digestion miserable at times and when it flares up bland foods are the only thing that get me through.
Be sure to keep an eye on it as it would make me nervous for you to just assume it is the stress.
Take care and get better!!!
Oh man that would stink for sure! I will be sure to keep an eye on it but for now I think it’s mostly stress.
I’m no medical expert, but I am familiar with these, and it sounds to me like you had a panic attack at Dave’s grandparents. I’ve actually got a post in the words on anxiety and panic disorder. I know a lot about the topic, and maybe you already do too, but if you want to email me, feel free.
Yeah that makes sense. Let me know when you post about it and I will also try to email you! Thanks friend!
I have anxiety issues, and this sounds exactly like how I go through it. Find something that works as a stress reliever. I like to go for a run or do something active. And make yourself eat lots of small meals!
Yes I definitely need to get some exercise but it’s tricky because I know not getting enough calories for energy. Hopefully soon though! Thanks for the advice!
Sending a big hug and love your way, Amanda! I’m sorry your body has been rejecting food, I definitely understand as a fellow food nerd and food blogger. People just don’t understand sometimes how important FOOD is to us! I think it was mostly your nerves being so high strung in uncomfortable situations. Plus this is a busy and stressful time for many around the holidays. It is for me! And I understand your anxiety and stress–I have had problems with social anxiety in the past. Just know that you WILL feel better and you can handle anything. 🙂
Thanks, friend! It really is a stressful time of the year!
Not going to lie, I am not much help because……. I always eat. Even if I feel sick. I have been feeling not so hot the past few days – nauseous, but…. I STILL EAT! ha ha ah aha! I just love my food so much! 😉
Thanks for the “sympathy” lol the point of the post is that I love food too (it’s kind of my life and livelihood) and it sucks that it’s been making me feel physically sick. You probably shouldn’t rub it in my face that you never have this problem. 😉
Oh no girl, I DEFINITELY DOOOOOO but I still eat – and then I just feel sicker! LMFAO!
Haha okay. Clearly I wasn’t in a good mood the day I saw that comment. I heart you!!
This is so me with anxiety – it just makes me feel so sick! My only advice is to try to eat little bits of food often and try to be nice to yourself and give yourself opportunity to just relax. Also, since you mentioned the heartburn/ibuprofen, is it possible you have gastritis? That’s happened to be when I’ve taken ibuprofen before.
It might be a combination of both. It seems to be getting a little better though.
I hope you start feeling better and this all works itself out. I’ve been taking naps after work because I’m so stressed out and then I have crazy fast heart beats and strange physical/emotional feelings as well. I think it’s chalked up to some stressors. I’ve been eating oatmeal, which I don’t usually crave. Nothing sounds good sometimes and I think it’s because I’m sick of all food… which does happen by the way.
Thanks, lady. Hope you feel better too! Naps are always a good idea.
Yikes! I have never experienced something like that! I hope you feel better!
Thanks, Shelly. I’m feeling a little better. Slowly but surely.
Oh now!! I really hope you feel better! I have a very sensitive stomach and get nauseous quite a bit. I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of it for years, but haven’t found the culprit just yet. I hope this is goes away as quickly as it came on! Rest up, destress, and get well soon!
Oh man I can’t imagine going through this for years! Hopefully we can both figure this out!
Hi, Amanda. I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, but I rarely comment. After reading this post, I was reminded of my own struggle with panic attacks and anxiety, which lasted for over a decade. I rarely had appetite issues, but I had other ones that were just as debilitating as yours are.
I healed myself with yoga and meditation, which have allowed me to understand and accept what I can change in life and what I cannot. I also take a couple of different herbs that are used to nourish the adrenals and keep my stress response in check. I would love to talk about this with you a bit more–I’ve read through your posts on anxiety, and it sounds SO much like my own story. Feel free to reach out.
I’m glad to hear you’re doing a bit better.
Thank you so much for commenting. It really helps to know that other people experience these issues as well! (in the sense that we aren’t alone..not that I’m happy others are miserable!)
I am doing MUCH better since I posted this! I can eat more now (I’m actually feeling hunger!) and haven’t felt nauseous since Friday, so I consider that a win!
I really need to get back to yoga class because I do remember it made me so happy and refreshed (not to mention a good workout/stretch!). Thank you for the tips!