Okay this topic is pretty uncomfortable to talk about, not to mention the fact that I try not to talk about controversial topics on the blog…why? Who knows. Maybe I don’t have the energy to defend my side and maybe I just want everyone to like me, or not have someone be turned off from my blog by one opinionated post that is different from theirs. (And it’s news to me that this topic is even considered debatable.)
But I couldn’t sleep last night. Thinking about all of this. I have to talk about it.
A couple of days ago I was trying to find something for Dave and I to watch here in the hotel and was shocked at what I was seeing on CNN. The part that I heard was that two boys raped a girl at a party and bragged about it, sending pictures to friends and even tweeting about it, using the hashtag “rape.”
You’ve got to be kidding me.
I think up until I was seeing this newsstory, I thought the general consensus was that rape was a bad thing. A crime. Something that only really terrible people did…and something they didn’t talk about because of the fact that it was a crime.
These young men were not only bragging about it, they were actually surrounded by people who were egging them on, filming it, taking pictures of it.
(Video. Proceed with serious caution…this is just the ignorant boys talking about what they did, but it made me sick to my stomach, trying to make a joke about how she was “dead.” Seriously disturbing.)
Am I missing something? When did this become okay? It’s very possible that I’ve been sheltered…I don’t watch the news very often and apparently I only associate with people who think rape is 110% wrong and disgusting.
This is the first time I’ve heard about the Steubenville case, although it happened months ago.
Something else that shocked me to no end was the fact that many people are blaming the girl. The 16 year old girl who had been slipped a date-rape drug and was unconscious, was being blamed for what was done to her. That she was asking for it.
Is this for real?
The definition of “rape” is “
Whatever happened to consequences for actions? What is it teaching children these days that we should feel pity that two young men who raped a 16 year old (and flippin’ bragged and joked about it) are going to jail for two years? What is it teaching America?
- Rape is wrong. Always.
- It is NEVER the victim’s fault.
- I hate injustice. And the “justice system.” I hate how just because these young men are football players that they are being given different consideration. Consequences need to result from wrongful actions.
- If you have been raped or abused in any way, say something. It is NOT your fault. You deserve to be heard. Do not let anyone tell you any differently. You are still valuable as a woman and as a human being no matter what someone else has decided to do to you or your body.
My thoughts, prayers and my heart go out to this young lady who has gone through hell not only by finding out what was done to her, but also by speaking up about it. I hope this whole situation will shed light on something that doesn’t just happen in Steubenville, but is a result of today’s “rape culture.”
I usually ask questions at the end of a post to spark conversation, but I’m pretty sure this topic alone is enough.
This case disturbed me too. I think that these guys got off way too easy. I mean, 2 years, seriously? The comment that these boys “had such promising futures” just really bugged me. Any person that could do that and then laugh and brag about it is a very sick individual in my book. The people that were egging them on and taking photos are just as despicable. I believe that some of the blame should be placed on the parents of these young people. The lack of good parental guidance in America today is really hurting this country in so many ways. Parents should be teaching their sons how to have respect for women and vice versa.
As a parent that teaches goodness and respect to our children: I certainly hope that my child doesn’t grow up and horribly stray from his/her teachings. I also pray that I am not placed under the microscope due to his/her poor choices. I’m sure that the parents of all of these young people feel badly enough without folks pointing a finger in their direction.
I agree Andrea. I know they are pointing to all of the parents in this case and while I do feel bad for the parents, I think in this town’s case, those boys were put up on a pedestal making them feel like they could do anything they wanted. Actually in some cases, the parents are mad at the girl and not the boys.
I think you’re doing a great job with your kiddos, Andrea. 🙂
I agree it could be from bad parenting, but I also think it is largely the culture we live in today. I know that as a teenager I strayed from what my parents had taught me because of what was “cool” or what “everyone else is doing.”
Oh, I definitely think that it has a lot to do with the culture we live in too. Kids are exposed to so much more now than I was growing up. Shows and video games are so much more graphic. Pornography is much more readily available. You can’t even go to the grocery store without seeing a half naked woman on the cover of a magazine these days. Restaurants like Hooters, Twin Peaks and Tilted Kilt are popping up more and more. Women are being objectified constantly, so it’s no wonder young men aren’t growing up with respect for them. That’s why the parental guidance (biblical) is so important. I’m not saying that kids aren’t going to do things that their parents don’t approve of even with that. I grew up in a Christian home, and I did things that my parents wouldn’t have approved of. I just mean that kids need the foundation, so that hopefully that will help keep them from going off in a bad direction.
Yes, I do feel like a good foundation helps. I can only pray I will be able to raise good and respectful kids that are just as sickened by all of this as I am.
This case disturbed me too. I think that these guys got off way too easy. I mean, 2 years, seriously? The comment that these boys “had such promising futures” just really bugged me. Any person that could do that and then laugh and brag about it is a very sick individual in my book. The people that were egging them on and taking photos are just as despicable. I believe that some of the blame should be placed on the parents of these young people. The lack of good parental guidance in America today is really hurting this country in so many ways. Parents should be teaching their sons how to have respect for women and vice versa.
I am SO happy that you went through with posting this! It’s seriously a tragic event and even more tragic that it has to even BE a discussion. I can only hope some good comes of this and reignites the conversation that rape is NEVER okay and we need to figure out how to reduce it in the world, aside from telling women to “be more careful.”
Isn’t it crazy that this is a discussion?? That’s what I was thinking as I read the quote from the coach saying that the girl was lying. I think we need to speak up from whatever platform we have!
I am SO happy that you went through with posting this! It’s seriously a tragic event and even more tragic that it has to even BE a discussion. I can only hope some good comes of this and reignites the conversation that rape is NEVER okay and we need to figure out how to reduce it in the world, aside from telling women to “be more careful.”
So very sad all the way around. We live in a fallen world. Things will only get worse. People’s ideas of right and wrong are only dictated by what they “feel” is right or wrong. Anything goes as far as life style, dress, and language – all “individual choice” right? We made sure of that when we told God and The Bible that they weren’t the only source of Truth. We also make sure of that when we tolerate more and more sex in media and “sexy” clothing and older ideas pitched to younger kids. *sigh* Yea, I’m a prudish Bible beater. Maybe it will keep one of the four of our kids from being raped, drug addicted, or imprisoned.
I agree a lot of it has to do with having people decide on their own what is right or wrong…such a slippery slope!
So very sad all the way around. We live in a fallen world. Things will only get worse. People’s ideas of right and wrong are only dictated by what they “feel” is right or wrong. Anything goes as far as life style, dress, and language – all “individual choice” right? We made sure of that when we told God and The Bible that they weren’t the only source of Truth. We also make sure of that when we tolerate more and more sex in media and “sexy” clothing and older ideas pitched to younger kids. *sigh* Yea, I’m a prudish Bible beater. Maybe it will keep one of the four of our kids from being raped, drug addicted, or imprisoned.
As a parent that teaches goodness and respect to our children: I certainly hope that my child doesn’t grow up and horribly stray from his/her teachings. I also pray that I am not placed under the microscope due to his/her poor choices. I’m sure that the parents of all of these young people feel badly enough without folks pointing a finger in their direction.
I agree… I saw something going around showing all of the sympathetic reactions the news media had for the rapists… ridiculous.
Right?! It’s like…how can those reactions be real??
Oh, I definitely think that it has a lot to do with the culture we live in too. Kids are exposed to so much more now than I was growing up. Shows and video games are so much more graphic. Pornography is much more readily available. You can’t even go to the grocery store without seeing a half naked woman on the cover of a magazine these days. Restaurants like Hooters, Twin Peaks and Tilted Kilt are popping up more and more. Women are being objectified constantly, so it’s no wonder young men aren’t growing up with respect for them. That’s why the parental guidance (biblical) is so important. I’m not saying that kids aren’t going to do things that their parents don’t approve of even with that. I grew up in a Christian home, and I did things that my parents wouldn’t have approved of. I just mean that kids need the foundation, so that hopefully that will help keep them from going off in a bad direction.
I agree… I saw something going around showing all of the sympathetic reactions the news media had for the rapists… ridiculous.
I agree it could be from bad parenting, but I also think it is largely the culture we live in today. I know that as a teenager I strayed from what my parents had taught me because of what was “cool” or what “everyone else is doing.”
Isn’t it crazy that this is a discussion?? That’s what I was thinking as I read the quote from the coach saying that the girl was lying. I think we need to speak up from whatever platform we have!
I agree a lot of it has to do with having people decide on their own what is right or wrong…such a slippery slope!
Right?! It’s like…how can those reactions be real??
Oh my gosh, this is the first I’ve heard of this…only further confirming my decision NOT to watch the news! I cannot believe it…their lives ruined because of the trial?! What about their ACTIONS?!! This frustrates and infuriates me just as much as it makes me want to cry. To me, rape is one of the worst human injustices…and something that I pray to God never happens to me or any of my loved ones! So much is taken from the victim…it’s not only the physical aspect, but the emotional trauma/wreckage that person is left with will be with them for the rest of their lives! And don’t even get me started on the whole “she asked for it” nonsense! I mean seriously, that doesn’t even make sense!
I know I usually don’t watch the news but I have been a lot this week just to have something in the background….it’s not my favorite, but I suppose it’s good to sometimes be aware of what’s going on in the world.
And yeah I was shaking with anger when I was reading the stories about it and when I saw that stupid video. I really hope they learn from their actions and aren’t just coddled by friends and family.
Oh my gosh, this is the first I’ve heard of this…only further confirming my decision NOT to watch the news! I cannot believe it…their lives ruined because of the trial?! What about their ACTIONS?!! This frustrates and infuriates me just as much as it makes me want to cry. To me, rape is one of the worst human injustices…and something that I pray to God never happens to me or any of my loved ones! So much is taken from the victim…it’s not only the physical aspect, but the emotional trauma/wreckage that person is left with will be with them for the rest of their lives! And don’t even get me started on the whole “she asked for it” nonsense! I mean seriously, that doesn’t even make sense!
I know I usually don’t watch the news but I have been a lot this week just to have something in the background….it’s not my favorite, but I suppose it’s good to sometimes be aware of what’s going on in the world.
And yeah I was shaking with anger when I was reading the stories about it and when I saw that stupid video. I really hope they learn from their actions and aren’t just coddled by friends and family.
Yes, I do feel like a good foundation helps. I can only pray I will be able to raise good and respectful kids that are just as sickened by all of this as I am.
I agree Andrea. I know they are pointing to all of the parents in this case and while I do feel bad for the parents, I think in this town’s case, those boys were put up on a pedestal making them feel like they could do anything they wanted. Actually in some cases, the parents are mad at the girl and not the boys.
I think you’re doing a great job with your kiddos, Andrea. 🙂
I’m so glad you went through with posting this. It’s such an important topic that people just sweep under the rug!
My thoughts are very similar to yours in reaction to this, so I’m going going to say much, but just wanted to say that you did a great job. I love the research you put into this. Keep on writing, girl!
Thank you so much Alex! It was hard to hit “publish” but I’m glad I did! It is a topic that people don’t really like to talk about, but sometimes you just have to say SOMETHING.
I’m so glad you went through with posting this. It’s such an important topic that people just sweep under the rug!
My thoughts are very similar to yours in reaction to this, so I’m going going to say much, but just wanted to say that you did a great job. I love the research you put into this. Keep on writing, girl!
Thank you so much Alex! It was hard to hit “publish” but I’m glad I did! It is a topic that people don’t really like to talk about, but sometimes you just have to say SOMETHING.
I, too, wrote about Steubenville last week. I didn’t write about the rape culture, although it is there. I want to know where the heck the parents were. Who allows high school students to go from house to house partying without an adult actually stepping up to the plate?
One of the comments from another player, not physically involved, sickened me. He basically said he took the guy’s car keys because he was too drunk to drive. Then, when he went to say good bye, the guy was starting his assault on an unconscious female. The kid just said good bye and walked away. You know your friend is too drunk to drive but not too drunk to have sex with someone who is unconscious. What?
On top of all that, the defendants didn’t get two years in JAIL. They got time in juvenile detention. Thankfully, it is not a record that will be not expunged if they behave although I am not sure they can.
This issue annoys me so much that I should probably stop now as I am sure I could write another thousand or two words on this.
I agree it’s weird that high schoolers had multiple houses to party at…how does that happen? I mean okay, one teen’s parents go out of town, everyone lies to their parents about where they were…that makes sense. But house to house??
And yes WAY too many people stood around and watched all this happen!
I, too, wrote about Steubenville last week. I didn’t write about the rape culture, although it is there. I want to know where the heck the parents were. Who allows high school students to go from house to house partying without an adult actually stepping up to the plate?
One of the comments from another player, not physically involved, sickened me. He basically said he took the guy’s car keys because he was too drunk to drive. Then, when he went to say good bye, the guy was starting his assault on an unconscious female. The kid just said good bye and walked away. You know your friend is too drunk to drive but not too drunk to have sex with someone who is unconscious. What?
On top of all that, the defendants didn’t get two years in JAIL. They got time in juvenile detention. Thankfully, it is not a record that will be not expunged if they behave although I am not sure they can.
This issue annoys me so much that I should probably stop now as I am sure I could write another thousand or two words on this.
I have not heard about this case, but I am shocked. I, too, cannot believe this would even be considered a ‘debatable’ issue.
Craziness!
I have not heard about this case, but I am shocked. I, too, cannot believe this would even be considered a ‘debatable’ issue.
I had not heard of this case at all, and I am just as disgusted as you are! Thank you so much for posting this, and for standing up for your beliefs. I can relate so much to your hesitancy of discussing controversial topics, but this one needs to be shared. Thanks so much Amanda, these people need our prayers!
They absolutely do! Thanks for the reminder that we shouldn’t just be disgusted with this or mad about it, but to PRAY for them as well!
I had not heard of this case at all, and I am just as disgusted as you are! Thank you so much for posting this, and for standing up for your beliefs. I can relate so much to your hesitancy of discussing controversial topics, but this one needs to be shared. Thanks so much Amanda, these people need our prayers!
They absolutely do! Thanks for the reminder that we shouldn’t just be disgusted with this or mad about it, but to PRAY for them as well!
I agree it’s weird that high schoolers had multiple houses to party at…how does that happen? I mean okay, one teen’s parents go out of town, everyone lies to their parents about where they were…that makes sense. But house to house??
And yes WAY too many people stood around and watched all this happen!
Craziness!